officeworker
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The Fanny Bone
Odd name for a story I hear you say, but this is one of my favourite memories and a great representation of what it’s like working with eclectic personalities in a relatively small environment. It features primarily my beautiful Latvian colleague; and I say beautiful loosely because she was indeed very very beautiful but she…
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The Runner
We have to thank CCTV for this gem of a story as without it I think I would still be wandering the corridors looking for this woman. This is still one of those stories that I roll out on the semi-regular and I still find it hilarious and baffling in equal measure. We once employed an admin…
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Things No One Tells You About Working an ‘Office’ Job (including WFH)
Number 1 – No matter how physically fit you are or how well you set up your work station you will realise halfway through your career (or maybe even sooner if you are like me and were stressed AF for most of your 20’s) that you have the posture of Quasimodo. You will then spend…
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The Sun & The Biscuit Tin
Both of these stories involve Liam. For some reason during the course of writing the posts for this website I feel the need to purge all of the stories involving him as quickly as possible. They probably have been sat in my brain the longest so they are clamouring the hardest to get out. I…
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How to Poo at Work – the essential guide for the conscientious crapper
Small Office Edition This is an essential survival guide for anyone who works in a small office where the toilet opens directly into the room. And more so if you happen to have some poor bastard who actually sits behind the bog with nothing but a few sheets of B&Q’s finest plywood between you. Step…
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The Worst Thing about Offices……
The people. I have adapted this post from my Instagram account and it’s about someone I used to work with – let’s call him Robert. I chose this image because this dog would have been a better colleague than this guy and probably more productive. Way back when – like over a decade ago I…
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The Radio
Shortly after we moved the table – and I can’t be sure of exactly how long after as they say; time flies when you are having fun, and I sure was having fun working with this bunch of clowns – there was another incident that involved Liam. This time the undeserving inanimate object involved was…
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The Table
Just to set the scene; the company was called PumpCo (not real name but the real name was equally unimaginative.) and they essentially shipped pumps from China to American and sold them. HQ was based in the UK for no other reason than the bosses lived there and they had a couple of share holders…
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I thought I was going to be a lawyer……..
I thought I was going to be a lawyer. Actually that’s a lie at one point I am pretty sure I wanted to be a pilot (decided whilst sat on my first flight to Fuerteventura) but all through secondary school I was sure a career in law was what I was destined for. I remember…
Secret Journal of an Office Worker 